Thursday, April 28, 2011

Royal Advice: The Princess Comes Across

Lesson 1:  Make friends with the accordion, because you'll hear it a lot
The Movie
   Fine, I'll do it!  I'll go topical just this once.  In honor of the royal hullabaloo tomorrow, here's the story of a (faux) princess, an escaped murderer, an international detectives' convention and an accordian player, all on board the Mammoth Cruiseliner bound for America.  In The Princess Comes Across (1936, directed by William K Howard), Carole Lombard is Wanda Nash, aka the Swedish Princess Olga, ready to con the movie studios into a contract.  The royal suite is nearly snatched from her at the beginning of the picture by the accordian player, Fred MacMurray, playing bandleader King Mantell.  My favorite gorilla from My Man Godfrey (Mischa Auer) plays a Russian detective, who, along with his international associates, is hot on the trail of the escaped criminal.  It's not a classic, but it is a bit of fun, and contains a wealth of advice for any princess...

Done!  Olga's ring (top), Kate's (bottom)

Advice For Kate
1.  (Above)
2.  'Princesses do not go around smacking young men in the kisser'
3.  Send yourself flowers from every prince in Europe - that'll fool them.
4.  A Princess cannot endure the concertina
5.  A Princess does not take drinks with a concertina-squeezer
6.  If a man is murdered in your suite, make sure you have a concertina player available to hide the body for you
7.  Get a sapphire ring with a diamond surround (above)
8.  Don't engrave your real name inside said ring in case you have to give it up to a blackmailer
9.  Keep your eye on the prize
10.  'No good ever came out of a concertina'

Give them the royal freeze

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